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I LIKE to have straight-up black coffee, but when you get it, SOMETIMES you'll burn your tongue, or it spills on your hands, and you get THIRD degree burns. I happen to be the KIND of HUMAN being who doesn't want to sue coffee companies for money, so I just say, 'Hey, can you give me some coffee, but can you also give me like, eight ice cubes.'

Author - Hasan Minhaj

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