What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go AROUND the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how PEOPLE REACT. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or PRODUCERS to tell you what's funny.

Part of being a comedian is that it's your JOB to LOOK at LIFE and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

It would be interesting if this SITCOM works, so I could be doing one THING all the time instead of going back and forth between all this DIFFERENT media which I sort of THRIVE on, I'm a bit of a moving target in that way.

When the INTERNET FIRST came into PUBLIC use, it was hailed as a liberation from conformity, a floating world ruled by passion, creativity, innovation and FREEDOM of information. When it was hijacked first by advertising and then by commerce, it seemed like it had been fully co-opted and brought into line with human GREED and ambition.

I WANT to be the biggest entertainer in the WORLD. That's my deal. I'll do whatever it TAKES to GET that.

You can't all of a SUDDEN GO to sleep one NIGHT and wake up Martha Stewart. It's BIT by bit by bit.

I have no DOUBT I was SOMEONE very INTERESTING in a PAST LIFE.

When I RECEIVE letters from GIRLS that SAY, 'You give me confidence,' I THINK, 'Wow, this is amazing.' That's my goal: to let people know it's truly what's on the inside that counts.

My upbringing was faith-based, but we BELIEVED you should love all OTHERS as you WANT to be loved, because everyone should be TREATED equally. That's helped me have an understanding of people on different journeys and in different walks of LIFE. At the end of the day, we're all the same, because we all want to be loved.

You GET up and you PREACH a sermon and people walk away thinking what a GREAT guy - and that's a FAILURE as a PASTOR. Our job is to proclaim Christ.