When people write about me, they usually start off with the HEADLINE 'World's GREATEST CON Man.'

You open up a lot of tours MAKING nothing just for the fact that you NEED to start SOMEWHERE and GET some EXPOSURE. When you start to headline your tours, all the money is in headlining, but there's no money in headlining small rooms.

I don't have a HIP-HOP GOAL but I WANT to HEADLINE Bonnaroo one DAY.

These DAYS, it TAKES only SECONDS - seconds - for a PICTURE, a photo, to suddenly become an international headline.

There are so MANY bands that after their SECOND record are headlining music festivals, and they're still... suited to playing in a TENT. Very few bands when they headline a FESTIVAL can pull it off.

Here's something to THINK about: How come you NEVER SEE a headline like 'Psychic Wins LOTTERY'?

The worst HEADLINE is one that contains a factual error. BAD HEADLINES are ones that are bland, and don't tell the reader anything SPECIFIC, like 'Democrats at it Again.'

I have very talented art directors in my AGENCY who start out telling me, 'Well, this is what the picture is... ' I ask, 'Well, what's the HEADLINE?' and they say, 'We haven't done that yet, but it looks this way.' But I'm still writing copy, almost every DAY.

Before 'Sunny' came along, I would audition and do chemistry reads with very funny actors. And then they would cast someone who was beautiful and BENIGN. I don't THINK that very funny men WANTED to headline with very funny women. They wanted to be the funny ones, and they wanted the wife to be the wife. That was very FRUSTRATING.

I remember a picture on the front page of the 'Sun' during the Brixton RIOTS: a rasta guy with a petrol bomb, and a headline saying SOMETHING like: 'The FUTURE of Britain.' And I THOUGHT: 'Wow! Look at the power of that image,' and I WANTED to get behind the camera to make these people three-dimensional.

It's when I'm playing a HEADLINE show I FEEL weird, 'cause I don't know how to react to PEOPLE coming out to see me.

Invariably, when PEOPLE read the headline about Martin Shkreli, they HATE Martin Shkreli. When they GET to KNOW Martin Shkreli, they love Martin Shkreli.

On 'The Daily Show,' we get so caught up in the day-to-day news CYCLE. A STORY breaks, and then the piranhas in LATE night, we all JUMP to the headline, and we dissect it, and then we have to MOVE on to the next day.