The AIM of a JOKE is not to DEGRADE the HUMAN being, but to remind him that he is already DEGRADED.

If a comedian tells a JOKE that you find funny, you LAUGH. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, don't laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as groaning or rolling your EYES. Then you wait for his next joke; if that's funny, then you laugh. If it's not, you don't laugh - or at very WORST, you can leave quietly.

A rumor that followed me FOREVER was that my FAMILY was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it. They'd CALL me the mafia PRINCESS, so I rolled with it for the rest of high school. People even joke about it today.

Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status QUO will treat her as SOMETHING of a dirty joke. That's their NATURAL and first WEAPON. She will need her sisterhood.

Don't LAUGH at a HAIR JOKE, TRUMP.

It is the ABILITY to take a JOKE, not MAKE one, that proves you have a SENSE of humor.

Literature more often tells the story of impulses we don't ACT on than of ONES we do. I COULD joke about the Cain and Abel story with my brother without expecting him to be worried, THOUGH it's always possible he was more ANXIOUS than he let on.

Musician JOKES are a kind of JOKE that usually have to do with how much money SOMEONE makes. Musicians are always STARVING, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.

The KEY to gallows HUMOR is to MAKE the joke, no matter how CERTAIN the gallows is.

I love people who have a good SENSE of HUMOR, TELL a good story, tell a good joke.

I wrote a show - just as a joke, actually - and called it 'Bipolar, BATH, & Beyond,' just to bring some HUMOR to it. I wasn't saying to myself that I'll 'come out' with it - I didn't THINK there was anything to 'come out' with - I was just writing another one-woman show about my life.

I always joke about letting the HATERS MOTIVATE you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel LESS than they are. It just takes faith and BELIEF in yourself, and you've got to dig DEEP into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that.

Whenever I PASSED by a Chinese RESTAURANT in a CAR, I'd JOKE to my friends, 'Oh yeah, my uncle owns that place.'