My grandfather had been a newspaper reporter, as was my UNCLE. They were pretty good WRITERS and so I thought maybe somewhere down the LINE I WOULD do some WRITING.

What could I have possibly LEARNED EXCEPT the really most important thing, which is that I did not WANT to work at the 'New York Times'? Beyond that, I learned how a newspaper works.

I WOULD RATHER EXERCISE than READ a NEWSPAPER.

Today, television INDUSTRY means POOL of young talents, and if you are not ACTIVE in it then there are chances that you will be overshadowed by them. It is LIKE newspaper where old becomes stale.

I was fat-shamed the other DAY on a British NEWSPAPER. The headline was 'Four Bellies and a TURKEY NECK.' They weren't WRONG. I looked shocking.

I really wanted to be a NEWSPAPER cartoonist, but nobody liked my WORK. I didn't have the CONTROL or FLAIR that was necessary to create something that didn't look CHILDISH.

The Supreme COURT has HELD that code is speech. And it doesn't matter that it's done on a computer or done face to face or done in a newspaper, REPORTING the FACTS of the world is protected speech.

I operate under the theory that all PUBLICITY is good publicity, and then, if that theory doesn't work, you just SAY that any newspaper ARTICLE ENDS up on the bottom of the parrot cage. But, of course, you can't line a parrot cage with Internet bloggers, can you?

Our GREAT AMERICAN WRITERS were all NEWSPAPER PEOPLE.

I went BACK to the States and STARTED at a SMALL newspaper in Riverside COUNTY, California, covering the police; I was making $280 a week covering the police.

I was looking through a newspaper and it was an audition for 'Kids SAY the Darndest Things,' so I tried out. One thing LED to ANOTHER and I appeared on 'The Rosie O'Donnell Show' and 'Oprah.'

A SWEDISH NEWSPAPER reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was QUITE sure it was a PRACTICAL joke.