If no one hears you, and no one LISTENS to you, it doesn't MATTER how GOOD you are because no one CARES about you.

It's fine to CELEBRATE SUCCESS but it is more important to heed the LESSONS of FAILURE.

BASEBALL is a game, YES. It is also a business. But what is most TRULY is is disguised COMBAT. For all its gentility, its almost leisurely pace, baseball is violence under wraps.

CONSTANTLY TALKING isn't NECESSARILY COMMUNICATING.

I just FOUND out that I'm one inch TALLER than I THOUGHT.

LEADERSHIP is GETTING SOMEONE to do what they don't WANT to do, to ACHIEVE what they want to achieve.

Joel McHale is so MONEY, he should be PRINTED on money.

The actual WRITING time is a LOT shorter than the thinking time. I don't do too MANY notes. I keep it mostly in my HEAD. I usually start writing a new book around January, and it's due October 1.

To empower WOMEN, POWER must be given to them, presumably by an entity that already has it. And that entity is the PATRIARCHY. This also implies that women must be on the receiving END, waiting - politely - to be empowered. Very Victorian-era courtship, isn't it?

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only GET to PLAY one ROUND.

We're all given some SORT of SKILL in LIFE. MINE just happens to be beating up on people.

With SPOTIFY, PEOPLE don't GET it until they try it. Then they tell their friends.

Don't minimize the IMPORTANCE of LUCK in determining LIFE's COURSE.

NOBODY is thinking they're going to COME out here and put a TEAM here and BECOME a multimillionaire. I don't KNOW anybody that comes into the NFL like that.

Do you REALIZE if it weren't for Edison we'd be WATCHING TV by candlelight?