In my day, when you called on a girl, her MOTHER was ALWAYS hollering down to SEE if she was still unraped, the maid WOULD look in, her father would shuffle his feet in another room. Today the boy calls up, says, 'Meet you at the BACK door of Stern's.'

In my next life, I WOULD LIKE to be CHARLIE ROSE or Howard Stern or MAYBE something in between.

Howard STERN was the only one that was ABLE to GET through to me.

Brits are very, very expressive, whereas the SOVIET and Eastern European WAY is MUCH more STERN, stone-faced. Vladimir Putin-esque in some way.

I LOVE the MALL, and I love Howard STERN and OPRAH.

It used to be that in media, JOHNNY Carson used to be the most important person when he WOULD invite you over to SIT on the COUCH after your COMEDY skit. Now it's whatever Howard Stern says goes.

A ROAST is REALLY an honor. If they picked me to be roasted, I'd be the most flattered I'd be in my life. If I could pick some PEOPLE to roast, I'd pick my HEROES, Don Rickles and Howard Stern. Those are the people I'd like to give some honor to.

In U.P., there will be STERN action against TERRORISTS. But there is a CLEAR instruction that no INNOCENT PERSON should be taken into custody during the course of action against terrorists.

I studied voice at YALE with Blake STERN from the MUSIC school, and he had me SINGING German lieder and Italian songs.