THOUGH I LOVE my COUNTRY, I do not love my COUNTRYMEN.

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Here's what I think, though this theory is hardly unique to me: KIDS aren't PICKY because they really care about particular FOODS; they're picky because it offers one of the few opportunities in their heavily guided and chaperoned lives to EXPRESS opinions and exercise CONTROL.

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SANTA Barbara is a paradise; Disneyland is a paradise; the U.S. is a paradise. Paradise is just paradise. Mournful, monotonous, and SUPERFICIAL though it MAY be, it is paradise. There is no other.

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SOMETIMES I'll GO to the grocery store and BUY a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook, which I don't, and as though I was going to be home for the NEXT six days, which I won't.

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I had the TITLE poet, and maybe I was one for a while. Also, the title SINGER was kindly accorded me, even though I COULD BARELY CARRY a tune.

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I'd like to PLAY Ian Paisley, actually. I'd need BUILDING up, THOUGH he's very frail now.

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I've met more than one person in their EARLY 20s who has never HEARD of Jackie Onassis, THOUGH most girls have because she EXISTS as a FASHION icon.

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You know, people THINK I named myself MEAT Loaf, even though I didn't. And they think anyone who would NAME himself Meat Loaf couldn't have an IQ higher than four.

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There is only one RELIGION, THOUGH there are a hundred versions of it.

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I'm a REPUBLICAN myself, THOUGH I THINK there are ACTUALLY some DEMOCRATS in Lynyrd Skynyrd.

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