I initially SIGNED up for TWITTER just to do JOKES I wasn't GOING to do in my stand-up ROUTINE.

Author - Jim Gaffigan

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It's FUN to PICK the WORST JOKES you can THINK of.

Author - Jim Norton

I do have a treadmill desk in my OFFICE, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven't walked on it in probably FOUR months. Now it's more of an UPRIGHT dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, BIRDS will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own.

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There's a lot of open mics, a lot of comedy CLUBS. Whatever money I could make was OK with me. As long as I could pay the RENT, EAT food, and tell jokes, doing it was GOOD ENOUGH for me.

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FAT JOKES aren't RELEVANT, but they're HILARIOUS when you FIND them.

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I got a pit BULL from a shelter, so my WHOLE life is CENTERED on this dog, and I've been writing a LOT of dog JOKES. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog.

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All I CARE about is making JOKES that are funny and making people LAUGH.

Author - Joel McHale

One can always come up with FUNNY lists and jokes. You KNOW what? I TAKE it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that PRETTY ably.

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You know, I always was an early morning or late NIGHT WRITER. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a DEADLINE. And at four in the morning you make up some of your most ABSURD jokes.

Author - Joss Whedon

One of the jokes among our family was that WHENEVER DAD went to the movies, he insisted on getting his senior citizen's discount. It was laughable to VIEW him as a TRADITIONAL senior citizen; he was one of the most robust people I ever knew. Until, very suddenly, he wasn't.

Author - Justin Trudeau

10.

I'm not an artist. I TELL inappropriate STORIES and jokes and I try to MAKE PEOPLE laugh.

Author - Kathy Griffin

I initially SIGNED up for TWITTER just to do JOKES I wasn't GOING to do in my stand-up ROUTINE.

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I initially SIGNED up for TWITTER just to do JOKES I wasn't GOING to do in my stand-up ROUTINE.

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