I THINK a lot of my songs are very silly and very STUPID, written to entertain people, but in the end, I always come to that LAST line, and I feel that I have to wrap this up with a bit of dignity and a little tear in the eye; OTHERWISE, the joke would be on the characters in the SONG.

A lot of times, you COULD play me just the LAUGHS from my set, and I could TELL you, from the LAUGH, what the joke was. Because they match.

For me, it's a purity thing about the JOKE itself. It's a test of a joke whether or not you do it completely clean and it works. If it does, then that's a legitimate item you have there. For me, it's NOTHING to do with finding those WORDS OFFENSIVE. It's just not what I'm in search of. Do it clean, and you are really earning that laugh.

A JOKE bombing on STAGE doesn't BOTHER me, especially if it's INTENDED to BOMB.

I used to joke that, since breastfeeding, my boobs looked LIKE an old athletic sock with some LOOSE change at the BOTTOM, so when I FELT a lump the size of a marble, I knew something was terribly wrong.

When I came back to NEW York, it was such a joke because I was ALWAYS referred to as the pure young POET who wasn't in it for what he could get out of it. And all of a SUDDEN, the pure young poet comes back... and I'm hanging out with the Rolling Stones.

I NEVER do a whole new set of new material. I do one new joke at a TIME, and I wedge it in between two good jokes. Or if it's a long story, I don't do it in L.A. or New YORK; I do it in KANSAS and Omaha, all these PLACES I'm going this weekend.

You go, well you can't JOKE about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the WORLD and you want to TALK about that, then FINE. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

I made so many JOKES about poor RUSSELL Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat SHOW we were on to LAUGH with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't MAKE another joke about him.

I've always liked a GOOD JOKE that EVERYBODY can LAUGH at.