I can't bear LOOKING in the MIRROR - I guess that's why my HAIR looks LIKE this.

I think we're the only jokeless SHOW on television. I mean REALLY, we have no setups and no PUNCH lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and AWKWARD pauses are a great PART of what it is to be human.

We're so INSECURE, COMEDIANS. 'Did you LAUGH? Do you THINK I was FUNNY?'

I think if you FIND that you're MAKING a JUDGMENT on the character, than your audience will make a judgment on the character.

Giving people the opportunity to SIT in a DARK theater together and have emotions in public, whether they're laughing or CRYING - that's what makes me HAPPY.

When we were at the CMT AWARDS this YEAR, Robert Plant was there. What an ICON, I love him... But I can't go up and SPEAK to him, because I don't want to SEEM like a goob.

Gnomes are supposed to be GOOD luck in a GARDEN, protecting against pests and DISEASES. A mythic gatekeeper, in the way a KITCHEN Witch is.

Movies these DAYS have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've GOT kids and family and FRIENDS, and I don't like bad THINGS. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.

The job of the poet is to render the WORLD - to SEE it and REPORT it without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings. Only SENTIMENTAL PEOPLE do.