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Here's the THING: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic PERSON. I will only live so LONG as I have stockpiled the PROPER inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic PARK, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.
Author - John Hodgman Subject - Creature
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